LEGALISING UNDERAGE SEX?

"Mom, I am going out now." Sara calls out to her mother who is in the kitchen cutting some vegetables.

"Where are you going?" her mother asks with a little concern in her voice. 

"I told you on Tuesday that I have been invited to Joana's birthday party. It is on today and I am going with Mandy and Lisa." Sara says.

"Oh, I forgot about it. Just make sure that you come back before it is late." her mother says.

"I will mom. Bye." 

She walks out and closes the door behind her. There is a red car parked by the roadside waiting for her. Inside the car there are four other teenagers, two girls and two boys. One of the boys is in the driver's seat.

"Hi guys." Sara says as she sits in the back seat.

The boy in the driver's seat turns his head and smiles at her. 

"This must be Misheck the boy that Mandy has been talking about all the time suggesting that I should meet him." Sara guesses.

"Sarah, this is Misheck my cousin. He's going to drive us to the party and back home." Mandy says with a wink and confirming Sara's guess.

"Oh my gosh. This is going to be an interesting afternoon." Sara thinks. 

Suddenly she slaps her forehead and says "Oh. I've forgotten something. Just give me a minute." She gets out of the car and runs back to the house. 

"Mom." She calls out.

"What is it now?" her mom answers from the bedroom.

"Can you come out? I need something from you." Sara says. 

Her mother comes out of the bedroom and says, "If you're asking for some more money, I am sorry I can't give you."

"Mom. It's not that. I was just wondering if you have any condoms. I need some condoms."

The mother does not believe what she has just heard. Did she say candles?

"What did you say?" she asks her.

"Do you have any condoms?" Sara said.

Sara is a sixteen year old girl. She is beautiful and the only child in the family. She is smart and likes reading a lot of books and watching teen movies on the Disney Channel. 

"What?" her mother shouts leaning towards her. "Are you out of your mind? You are asking for condoms from me? Your mother? And when did you start using condoms anyway?"

Sarah is caught by surprise at her mother's angry reaction. 

"Mom, I have never used any condom before. I'm sorry that I have asked but I thought you've heard."

"Heard what?"

"Just a moment," Sara says as she goes into her bedroom. A moment later she comes out with her laptop and connects to the Internet. 

"What are you doing?" her mother asks.

"I want to show you something." Sara says. "I am really sorry if I offended you but I thought I was doing the right thing." 

The web page finishes loading and Sara hands over the laptop to her mother. On the screen, there is a page with a blue background and a heading that reads "First Lady seeks condom availability to Youths".

Sara's mother starts reading:

"First Lady Christine Kaseba has called on relevant authorities to make condoms and contraceptives available to adolescents and young people.

Dr Kaseba said adolescents and young people should have access to condoms and contraceptives.
She explained that her call to have condoms and contraceptives made available to young people and adolescents is not aimed at promoting promiscuity among young people.

Speaking in an interview yesterday, Dr Kaseba said there was no need to turn a blind eye to the fact that young people are sexually active, hence the need to avail them sexual reproductive rights.

Dr Kaseba said HIV and sexual reproductive health are inter-linked and HIV should be re-integrated into sexual reproductive health if countries are to achieve zero HIV infections.

She said there is need to look at the root cause of HIV, hence the need to look at it through sexual reproductive health and that although there has been a global decline in HIV infection, there is need to re-strategise.

She said introducing sexuality education in schools will help the youths to make informed decisions....."

Sara's mother does not finish reading the story because her hands are shaking uncontrollably and she drops the laptop on the floor.

In the evening Sara's mother explains to her husband about what happened. She complains that the government is failing to come up with better solutions to problems faced by the youth. 

Her husband responds by saying "That's not government but Dr Kaseba's opinion. You know what? Maybe we should just leave this country and move to Uruguay."

"Uruguay? Because they have legalised marijuana? No no no no. You can't be serious. I thought you stopped smoking that stuff many years ago?" Sara's mother says.


Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

“Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base, for one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.” So wrote Aristotle.

Robert A. Heinlein also wrote, “A competent and self confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.”

Many people may agree with Robert A. Heinlein’s opinion and that could be the reason why so many books and articles have been written on how to handle jealousy. Jealousy is perhaps one of the most difficult emotions to control. It comes when you least expect it and it completely takes control of your reasoning. There is no man or woman in the world who can say that they have never been jealousy at any time.

Jealousy is the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something of great value. When someone is jealous, that person experiences other emotions such as anger, resentment, helplessness and disgust. In relationships, if jealousy is not well handled, it can pull apart the relationship and bring it down.

Shakespeare described jealousy as a green eyed monster. “O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is a green eyed monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on ...” (Iago, Act 3 scene III).

But is jealousy really a green-eyed monster as depicted by Shakespeare or was Aristotle correct when he implied that jealousy is reasonable and can be used to get good things?  

Many people will agree that it is normal to feel jealousy in some situations. To some extent jealousy is an essential ingredient in a relationship but it must work hand in hand with trust. If there is no trust, the green eyed monster will completely take over and eventually cross the line. In most cases many people do not know where this line is and once in a while they will cross it and realise a little late that they went too far.

If you love your partner and you feel someone is threatening to take them from you, it is normal to feel possessive and jealousy. Sometimes your partner may have a history of cheating and you have a reason to open your eyes. But there are times when you may be wrong and after creating a scene, then you find out there was nothing going on after all. 

Trying to control jealousy is the same as trying to control hunger. You can not control hunger without taking in some food. You cannot control jealousy without being assured that everything is alright.

If your partner likes to flirt it is going to cause you to feel jealousy. So it is up to the other person to know how to behave so that she or him does not cause you to feel jealousy. 

Sometimes the flirting partner may not even see any danger in what they are doing. It could be just an innocent interaction left to cross the line because they have become too comfortable with your mildness. This may eventually lead to serious implications like fornication. If you had acted earlier even by just showing that you do not like what you're seeing, you could have prevented that from happening. I guess this is what Aristotle meant.

When you see that your partner's interaction is causing you some kind of discomfort, let her know your feelings before the green eyed monster comes out.  

The only bad thing about jealousy is that sometimes it causes you to loose your control and you just bulge in and shout "who is this you're talking to?" Usually there is always a good explanation and that may cause you to look like an idiot. It is natural to feel jealousy but don't just let it become violent. After all even God is a "jealousy God" according to the bible. 

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick / freedigitalphotos.net