If there is anything that is more complex, it is lying and that is because to keep that lie from being exposed, you must either lie again or make someone lie. A lie is a false statement presented as being true, something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression. It can also be false information given with the intent of deceiving. All of us have lied at one time and we lie for various reasons.
No one likes to be called a liar but why do we lie? Maybe it is because lying is associated with ill intent that is why people do not want to be called liars but why do we tell lies and is it really necessary to lie? Some people lie to save themselves, some people lie to implicate other people, some people lie simply because they like lying and some lie because they want to use you for their personal gain.
"The world is not fair, and often fools, cowards, liars and the selfish hide in high places" wrote Bryant H. Mcgill.
One of the most common places where people tell lies is at the office or workplace. The scenario that is most likely to cause someone to lie at work is reporting for work late. It causes a lot of people to tell all types of lies and frankly, most of the time the boss knows you're lying.
"I was held up in traffic."
"My child was not feeling too well."
"I was stopped by a traffic cop for 30 minutes because I did not have my driving licence."
"I fainted on the subway"
However, there are people who are very good at telling lies that even the boss can be duped into believing it is the truth. Lying about why you're late may not be considered harmful if it does not grow into a habit and if the lies are not preposterous.
What is ridiculous is when a friend asks you what you think about the clothes she is wearing. You know that they look awful but instead of telling her the truth you tell her that she looks fantastic. This is why the human mind is a mystery. What would be wrong if you told her the truth? Imagine how that person will feel if she realises later that people are laughing at her dressing and she is already at the Party where she can not change her clothes.
I know that there are people who hate being told the the truth. For example if you told someone that she has done her hair badly when she herself is convinced that she looks great, that person will not like it. She may even say "Leave me alone". Maybe this is why we lie when we are asked for an honest opinion. Sometimes it takes a lot of prodding from the person asking for our opinion before we could tell them the truth because we are not sure if our honest opinion will hurt their feelings.
"Are you sure this looks great on me?"
"Yes. It looks great."
"Really?"
"I am telling you. It is just fine."
"I think it makes me look fatter."
"Okay, honestly it makes you look not only fatter but shorter too."
The most irritating liar is the one that brags or boasts about what they do not own or who they are not. Going out in public telling people that you have this and that when you have nothing is utter foolishness. You may never know that if you had told the truth, someone may have done something to help you out of your desperate situation. Many people have let good opportunities pass them by because they pretended that they did not need anybody's favours.
Many women have fallen prey to this type of liar because he pretended that he works at a big firm and earns a lot of money. The only time he sees her is when he has money to use, taking her to expensive places and in the end finding himself in debt. When he is broke, he will pretend that he is out of town. Why do they make their life so difficult?
A friend of mine Tina Banda from Real Life Zambia says, "I dislike people who lie even on little things. Lying does not help anyone become a better person. It only shows how foolish someone is, especially if you are caught and you can't back up your lies anymore"
Sometimes people tell lies without saying a word but through actions. Owning a posh car is a sure way of showing the girls that you are rich but the simplest alternative is to own an expensive smartphone. Having an expensive latest smartphone can give a false impression about your financial status when the truth is that it cost you three quarters of your salary to buy it and in the process of doing that, you sacrificed buying certain essentials for your own use. This is what is called "living a lie" and in my opinion it is foolish.
I remember the time I was at school, there were children who had rich parents and those that came from poor families. Some people did not want the other pupils to know which side of town they came from simply because it was lower class. What happened was they detoured to make it look like they were heading to the most affluent part of town when all they wanted was to make sure everyone has gone their way before they sneaked into the so called lower class area, the ghettos.
Being honest is the best thing to be. Living a lie affects your relationship with other people, and even your everyday life. If you confront people and tell them the truth they might be upset but at least they know, and they can solve these problems, or try to fix them.
While many people lie because of the situation they are in, a compulsive liar lies out of habit. Lying is his or her normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything., Telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right.
Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning, they simply lie out of habit. Compulsive liars usually take their habit of lying even in their relationships and marriages and this brings negative results. Usually, compulsive liars do a lot of harm to themselves than to anyone else while sociopaths lie with an intent and have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. A sociopath is often goal-oriented and often charming and charismatic and will use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways.
It is not possible to completely avoid being lied to or cheated but there are some ways in which you can tell if someone is lying. Most of the time when someone is lying their physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. A liar will avoid making eye contact with you and his hands may be touching their face, throat or mouth or even scratching the nose or behind their ear.
What about children? Do children lie? Many people believe that a child never lies and in most cases, a child's testimony will incriminate you. The truth is children lie too. Lying adults were once children and they could have started lying when they were kids and grew with the habit. That is why you should never lie to your children because once they know you were lying, they will think lying is a normal thing to do.
Children have an uncanny ability to see and understand more in life than parents usually realise. With every small lie there can be a very harmful result. Each lie may need additional lies to keep the truth from your child and eventually she will discover the truth and realise that not only was the truth kept from her, but that you are a liar.This may even teach the child that lies are normal and the belief will eventually lead to the belief that bigger lies are also acceptable. Certainly, there are certain times when a child is very young that certain information can be harmful or not suitable and a lie may be the right option.
When it comes to politicians, many people believe all politicians are liars. This joke is a typical example of how people regard politicians. A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
An article in The Huffington Post lists down "six reasons why politicians think they can lie (and not get caught)". It writes that many politicians are narcissists, arrogant, self-important and see themselves as special. Politicians know their followers will believe them, even in the face of irrefutable evidence to the contrary. One reason that interested me most is that people don't want to hear the truth. Truth, as the saying goes, hurts and no one wants to hear things that threaten their existence, their beliefs, or that will make them uncomfortable. It is decidedly better for politicians to tell people what makes them feel comfortable.
It is agreeably correct that people don't want to hear the truth if it makes them uncomfortable or hurts them. If a lie is told enough times, people will assume it is true. The reason why politicians are pathological liars is because we expect a lot from them. They are constantly monitored and everything they say is recorded. Their words and actions are subject to scrutiny by many commentators and observers. With such a large audience, it should be so much harder to tell lies and get away with it. And yet, despite all this scrutiny and the large audience, politicians lie, and they lie persistently.
The next time you tell a lie, ask yourself, "Was it worth it?".
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici, freedigitalphotos.net
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