One lady was complaining that ever since the husband was
introduced to Facebook, he has stopped paying much attention to her in the
evening because he spends most of the time updating his status and reading
other people’s status updates posted during the day.
Does that sound familiar? Social networking can be an addictive thing and you get to meet a lot of different people online. I have heard many times people complaining about how social networking is stealing valuable time from work places because many people are logged on all day, multitasking between work and social chatting with friends. Facebook announced that their most recent user total has gone up to 1.11 billion people.
With such a large number of people available to communicate with, you simply are a click away to meet many different types of people and characters from around the world. People who are single may see this as an adventure ground or a hunting ground for mates and those who are married may be tempted to "try" a little flirting. If not handled carefully, this may lead to more serious consequences where marital relationships are concerned.
One Clinical Psychologist and marriage counselor admitted that Facebook cannot be ruled out as a contributor to relationship troubles. "We're coming across it more and more. One spouse connects online with someone they knew from school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook."
However, a spokesperson for Facebook said: "It's ridiculous to suggest that Facebook leads to divorce. Whether you're breaking up or just getting together, Facebook is just a way to communicate, like letters, phone calls and emails. Facebook doesn't cause divorces, people do." This may sound like another version of the popular quote "Guns don't kill people. People kill people" from the movie Romeo Must Die but I agree with the statement.
Facebook or any other social network is just a platform which anyone can use to his own liking. If you're not a flirt, it is not easy to start flirting with dozens of people just because you're logged on. Some people do not even take the flirting on social networks seriously but just consider it a time killer. Others take it very seriously and are optimistic that it is the only place that they can find a love of their life. Facebook has not only been involved in breaking up marriages but has actually made some people find love and marriage.
In my view, I can compare logging onto the social network to leaving your house and stepping out into the street. On the street, you will find many types of people. You will find cops, hawkers, hookers, pimps, petty thieves, honest folk, street performers, people looking for business and so on. It is up to you to choose who you want to interact with depending on what was your reason for going out on the street in the first place.
But should couples who are in a relationship, especially in marriage, regulate their time or presence on social networks?
One of the most contentious issues between couples who are on Facebook and other social networks is the sharing of passwords. Many people are not comfortable with doing this for various reasons. Some say sharing a password with your spouse is an intervention of privacy while others say there is no privacy between couples.
"This rule isn't intended to foster “snooping” or paranoia, but it will help you ensure transparency and honesty with your husband or wife when it comes to your dealings with others online. Guys, knowing that your wife can at any time read anything you write on your Facebook page will have a very clarifying effect on what you write. In other words, abiding by this rule will help you avoid situations in which you might be tempted to say something you wouldn't want your wife to see. One solution is to simply share one Facebook page between the two of you. Doing this can help fire-proof your marriage against an unscrupulous old flame."
The other golden rule for married couples is to avoid flirting on Facebook. Not even a little bit. Most women do not care how long you take on Facebook but are just worried about what you are doing. If allowing her access to your account or showing her some of the updates that you're reading may make her feel secure, grant her access, that is if you really have nothing to hide.
Does that sound familiar? Social networking can be an addictive thing and you get to meet a lot of different people online. I have heard many times people complaining about how social networking is stealing valuable time from work places because many people are logged on all day, multitasking between work and social chatting with friends. Facebook announced that their most recent user total has gone up to 1.11 billion people.
With such a large number of people available to communicate with, you simply are a click away to meet many different types of people and characters from around the world. People who are single may see this as an adventure ground or a hunting ground for mates and those who are married may be tempted to "try" a little flirting. If not handled carefully, this may lead to more serious consequences where marital relationships are concerned.
One Clinical Psychologist and marriage counselor admitted that Facebook cannot be ruled out as a contributor to relationship troubles. "We're coming across it more and more. One spouse connects online with someone they knew from school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook."
However, a spokesperson for Facebook said: "It's ridiculous to suggest that Facebook leads to divorce. Whether you're breaking up or just getting together, Facebook is just a way to communicate, like letters, phone calls and emails. Facebook doesn't cause divorces, people do." This may sound like another version of the popular quote "Guns don't kill people. People kill people" from the movie Romeo Must Die but I agree with the statement.
Facebook or any other social network is just a platform which anyone can use to his own liking. If you're not a flirt, it is not easy to start flirting with dozens of people just because you're logged on. Some people do not even take the flirting on social networks seriously but just consider it a time killer. Others take it very seriously and are optimistic that it is the only place that they can find a love of their life. Facebook has not only been involved in breaking up marriages but has actually made some people find love and marriage.
In my view, I can compare logging onto the social network to leaving your house and stepping out into the street. On the street, you will find many types of people. You will find cops, hawkers, hookers, pimps, petty thieves, honest folk, street performers, people looking for business and so on. It is up to you to choose who you want to interact with depending on what was your reason for going out on the street in the first place.
But should couples who are in a relationship, especially in marriage, regulate their time or presence on social networks?
One of the most contentious issues between couples who are on Facebook and other social networks is the sharing of passwords. Many people are not comfortable with doing this for various reasons. Some say sharing a password with your spouse is an intervention of privacy while others say there is no privacy between couples.
I like the following advice to couples from Patrick Madrid.com's article on the issue of passwords.
"You need to “password-protect” your marriage. No joke. This means that your husband or wife should be able to log onto your Facebook account at a moment’s notice, any time of the day or night, especially when you are not there. Aside from, perhaps, planning a surprise party for your husband, if you are keeping anything “secret” from him in terms of your online interactions with other men, you are heading down a slippery slope. How to avoid it? Simple: He should know your password and, of course, if he has a Facebook account, you should know his."
The other golden rule for married couples is to avoid flirting on Facebook. Not even a little bit. Most women do not care how long you take on Facebook but are just worried about what you are doing. If allowing her access to your account or showing her some of the updates that you're reading may make her feel secure, grant her access, that is if you really have nothing to hide.
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles freedigitalphotos.net
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