Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson and Jack the Ripper all have
one thing in common. They were serial killers who committed multiple acts of
murder in a seemingly random manner or fashion. Many of us may think these
people were insane because what normal person could slaughter another human for
sheer pleasure?
The FBI defines serial murder as:
- A
minimum of three to four victims, with a "cooling off" period in
between.
- The
killer is usually a stranger to the victim - the murders appear
unconnected or random
- The
murders reflect a need to sadistically dominate the victim
- The
murder is rarely "for profit", the motive is psychological, not
material
- The
victim may have "symbolic" value for the killer, method of
killing may reveal this meaning
- Killers
often choose victims who are vulnerable (prostitutes, runaways, etc.)
However, the truth is that serial killers are not insane (maybe with a
few exceptions) because if they were, they wouldn’t plan their executions so
elaborately and very carefully to avoid being detected. Jeffrey Dahmer himself
said, "A mind can be evil without being abnormal".
Many studies have been conducted to try and find out the motives or what
drives serial killers to commit their crimes. During a child’s development,
there is a period in which he learns about love, trust and empathy and also how
to interact with other human beings. It is believed that if these traits have
not been imprinted upon the child during that period, then that child will find
it impossible to learn them later in life.
Another theory attributed to serial killers is neglect and abuse. This
includes both physical and sexual abuse and it causes these individuals to grow
up without a sense of anyone but themselves. What must be noted is that there
are many people who grow up in the above situations but they never turn out to
be serial killers. Some grow up to be very respectable and successful people.
When faced with a trial, many serial killers plead “not guilty” and cite
insanity as the reason for their actions. This is because the only other
acceptable explanation forserial murder is inanity. Some serial killers have
been diagnosed by psychologists and psychiatrists as psychopaths, meaning they
are compelled to harm other people, enjoy causing fear and they feel no remorse
for their actions.
It is not every day that one can run into a serial killer and chances
are that you may never run into one in your lifetime. But if you’re a woman,
there are chances of you running into a serial dater. Men also are victims of
female serial daters but these are very rare.
A serial dater may not rip your heart or bowels out with a knife. He may
not strangle you to death or drown you in a tub full of water but he will leave
your heart broken and in tatters.
A serial dater is someone who engages in the process of systematically
dating an obscene amount of people in a short span of time. He may pounce on
you through internet dating, bar dating, long distance flirtations, phone
service dating, blind dating, match making, one night stands, and friends with
benefits. In some words, he is what is popularly known as a player and will any
opportunity to lure his victims.
Many times a serial dater will only last a few weeks in a relationship
and vanish. If you look at the definition and psychological profile of a serial
killer and that of a serial dater, they are actually pretty similar. Their
motives are categorized as visionary, mission-oriented, hedonistic and power or
control.
Like serial killers, serial daters have their own perceived
psychological effects stemming from their childhood. Some are affected by
romantic rejections experienced earlier in life or they grew up in a
dysfunctional family without experiencing close intimate relationships which
they may have longed for. This is said to leave them distrustful of other
people.
A serial dater will break up what is perfectly a great and promising
relationship.
You may say that's fine with you because the leech has just moved out in
time before you fell so deep into him. But what if you found out that you did
not use protection and you're pregnant? There is no doubt that you will do
anything to trace him and make him share the responsibility of looking after
the child. But usually such men leave behind them a string of other women and
chances are that they also have a corresponding number of siblings.
I was watching a video on YouTube where this man has 22 kids from 14
different women. Ironically, he remembers all his kids' names. He brags that he named
them all so it was easy for him to remember each child's name. I doubt that it
is also easy when it comes to taking care of their needs. His excuse for
having this many kids was that he was young, ambitious and he loved women.
I also honestly do not think this man's baby mamas did not know that the
man was multiple dating. And if they knew, how come they did not use any protection? Maybe they were just competing to see who gets more babies out of him?
If a serial dater comes back and assumes full responsibility
of taking care of the child, you must be very lucky. Serial killers always
make sure their victim is dead before leaving the crime scene and they will try by all means not to leave a trail. The serial dater also
makes sure that when he leaves, he will never be easily brought to book. He will find
another woman or even fall back to one of his stupid earlier victims. This will
make you start fighting that woman until you get to know that she already has 2
kids with him.
It is at this point that you must make an intelligent decision. Should
you forget about him and move on or should you stay and finish the fight? This
is usually a hard choice because this period is filled with mixed emotions and anger. Many
women behave like a pendulum, swinging from side to side, not knowing what is the right thing to do.
You may try to stay away from him and concentrate on other things but the bills start piling up. Most of your time has been taken up by taking care of the baby, leaving you with less time to work extra hard or maybe even work at all. If the child is sick, staying up at night alone or taking care of
medical bills will make you feel more angry at him. Your imagination will be
filled with images of him sleeping comfortably in another woman's arms while you are
struggling alone.
The best alternative when you find out that you are a victim of a serial
dater is to just completelty forget about him and stay strong
on your own. Something that does not kill you will only make you strong.
Consider yourself fortunate that you did not stay in that relationship for a
long time or something worse could have happened to you.
Women who try to hang on and fight to the end usually lose the fight.
The serial dater will keep adding more victims to his hit list while you are trying to
make him stay with you. Unfortunately, many women use sex as a last option to make
him stay but this usually backfires and they find themselves having another child
with him.
Serial daters are charmers but they are human too and there is a way of knowing them. If you meet someone and their dating history is not very clear or they do not want to delve into it, then chances are that he or she is a serial dater. Do not completely trust anyone who has dated more than 4 people in the last 2 years.
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