PLAYING HARD TO GET

Two women who have been good friends for a long time are now bitter enemies and it is all because of a man. I know what you think but it’s not like that. Women have been known to snatch men from other women including from their friends or even from their own sisters, but this is a unique case.

One of these women was approached by a man who liked her and wanted her to be his lover but she was reluctant to accept him. The man persisted for four months trying to win this woman’s heart but she refused. The reason she gave was that the man was not her type.

Then everything changed. When the man saw that he was hitting his head against a brick wall, he tried his luck on her friend who immediately accepted his proposal. The two are now lovers and everything seems to be going so well for them.

This has infuriated the other woman who now claims that her friend is not a good friend because she has accepted the man she had refused. I think this is ridiculous. She did not want that man and they have never been lovers. He was just trying to be hers but she turned him down which meant she did not like him. Her friend on the other hand saw something in this man and accepted him.

If two women walked into a shop to buy clothes and the first one does not like the green silky dress which the attendant suggested to her, that woman would not surely be mad and accuse the otherof being a bad friend for buying the silky green dress she turned down. I know women are confusing sometimes and it is hard to read what is on their mind but if this happened, my immediate thought would be “psychiatric”.

Women sometimes play hard to get. They pretend that they do not like you but what they are actually doing is they are trying to learn something about you. They may even want to buy time so that they get a second opinion from other people. Naturally, women also like being chased by a man because it makes them look valuable.

However, sometimes they push the game too far if they do not know the limits. In this way many women have lost good men. Traditionally, our women are taught that they must not be loose and that they must take time to study a man before accepting him. It is easier for a man to study a woman’s character than it is for a woman. A man can take months observing a woman before making a conclusion that she is the right one.

On the other hand, a woman can spend a lot of time admiring a man but without any guarantee that the man will approach her and ask her to be his lover. This is why when a woman is abruptly approached by a man she has not been expecting, she will find it difficult to immediately say “yes”. She needs time to think about it and to ask other people what they know about you.

A wise woman leaves clues for the man when playing hard to get to let him know that she is just caught by surprise and will have to think about it. The way you look at him, answer back and even your handshake can assure the man that what you need is just time.

Naturally, it is awkward for a woman to propose love to a man. If she wants to do that, she must use accepted standards to avoid being called a loose or desperate woman. It is this same fear of being called desperate which drives some women to play hard to get. They believe that a woman is not supposed to say “yes” immediately when aman asks because it devalues you. I don’t think this is acceptable if you already know the man.

I know that most men believe that if a woman is quick to say “yes” then she is probably loose and will say yes to any man out there without hesitation. While this may be the truth with some loose women, I don’t think it is the same with every woman. Women are just like men. We all have the same feelings when it comes to love. We do not want to fall in love with a wrong person.

We all admire certain individuals from the opposite sex. The only difference is that when a man likes a woman, he will make plans of catching her attention. He also has the liberty to observe the woman before he makes his move. Some men start by being friends with her before they speak their mind. Some men will use her friends who will convey the message to her and her response through them will make him realize if his bid will be a success if he went along.

Some men use a straight forward approach. They will just go to a woman and tell her how they feel about her. I guess if women had the guts, they too would use some of these but many of them just sit and wait. A few brave ones have tried to use the “friendship first” and the “through his friend” approach and it has worked. Even though we believe that women must not approach men who they have fallen in love with, I think they do that every day but they do it differently from men.

If the woman in the story above was playing hard to get, then she did it the wrong way. You do not use words like “not my type” when you are playing hard to get because that line is an ego killer. Telling a man that he is not your type is like slap in the face. We men tend to shrink when a woman tells us that we are not her type. This has almost the same effect like when a woman tells a man that his penis size is small.

I am not saying that women must not play hard to get. They can play as hard as they can but they must know the rules and how long the game is supposed to last. Playing hard to get is a lot of fun. It is like playing a challenging video game. It also makes a man feel special because it gives him the false sense of being superior among other suitors. It makes a man think that his woman is a hard nut to crack and other men won’t find it easy with her even this is far from the truth.

On the other hand, this woman may have set her goals very high on what type of man she wants. That is the only reason she could have said he was not her type. But one thing that women do not realize is that if you want to get the type that you want, you must first become that type yourself.

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