IS THIS WHY SOME MEN LIKE PROSTITUTES?

Last night I was listening to the radio and there was a news item that captivated my mind. A man is struggling for his life in hospital after having his genitals almost ripped off by his irate wife. This was after the man tried to have sex with her and she refused. No details were given why the woman did not want to have sex with his husband but it is alleged that when the man forcefully tried to pull off her panties, she lost it and grabbed his genitals, pulling them hard. If you are a man, I am sure you can imagine how painful that must have felt.

We all know that sharing some quality time with the one you love is a wonderful experience so what would make someone refuse sex in a marriage? There are so many factors but the first one that comes to mind is that maybe that person is having it somewhere and is in no need for it now. It may also be that the other partner has been cheating and having sex with him feels dirty, especially if you suspect them to have been having it with prostitutes. One reasonable excuse could be that he or she is not feeling too well, which is more acceptable.

The above story is not just a one off incident; the same scenario is being played out in many bedrooms though not to the extent of pulling each others fruits. Most men are dissatisfied with the amount of sex they are getting from their wives.  But what does a guy do when he feels he is not getting a fair share of sex? What is the main reason why many women seem not to like sex?

With the introduction of spousal rape, which is now repudiated by international conventions and increasingly criminalised, it is illegal for a man to have sex with his wife using force and he could be prosecuted.  But what can be termed as force? How far can one go to be classified a rapist husband? Rape is more often associated with physical violence so it is obvious that when you use violence to have sex with your wife, you are a rapist. But what if a man has not been having sex with his wife for a long time because she keeps refusing  and he is aware that forcing her will be a crime, is there any legal means which he can use to have sex with her?

In many developing countries it is believed by both men and women that a husband is entitled to sex any time he demands it and this has led to many people disputing that a husband can rape his wife. For instance, one survey found that 74% of women in Mali said that a husband is justified to beat his wife if she refuses to have sex with him. This is one reason why some African cultures teach that both man and woman must not wear any clothes including underwear when going to sleep.

The truth is that with or without the law, it is never right to force someone to do something that he or she does not want to do. Any man that’s not a psychopath would not force sex on his wife no matter how bad he wanted it. Instead, he’ll feel extremely unhappy and unloved and maybe seek solace elsewhere, which may be the beginning of the marriage breaking up. A woman who attends to her man’s sexual needs can be compared to a man who attends to his woman’s emotional needs. If a woman neglects her man’s sexual needs, she is like a man who neglects his woman’s emotional needs.

If we had to turn the tables and in this case the man is the one that does not want to have sex with the wife, she will feel the same way too. She will feel unloved and the first thing that will come to her mind is “He is having an affair” She won’t accept his excuse of being tired because a man is supposed to be tough. She will not accept his excuse that he does not have enough time because when having sex, a man can probably be finished in 15 minutes, so that is also a poor excuse.

Sometimes people wonder why men leave an attractive wife and go to look for prostitutes. It does seem a bit peculiar doesn’t it? There are many reasons why and their wives lack of interest in sex could be  one of them. 

When you deny your wife or husband sex, just remember that you may just be handing Satan the password to your marriage

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