I was walking down the street this morning when I saw two women coming towards me. As they passed me I couldn't help but listen to their conversation.
"She was very lucky" one of them said. "Soon after she got divorced she met another man and got married. I don't know if it is the devil or bad luck because he too wants a divorce."
"Why? What is the problem?" the other woman asked.
"The man wants a child and she can't give him one. She made a mistake by choosing that ten years contraceptive."
This was the second time in a week that I was hearing of a woman finding herself in deep trouble caused by this method of contraceptive.
Just a couple of days ago I read a story online about a woman who was sentenced to two years in prison for stealing a baby right here in Zambia.
According to her, she stole the baby because her husband wanted a child but she could not have one because she too was on a ten years contraceptive plan. Amazingly this couple already have three children but the husband wanted a fourth child.
Left with no other option, this woman decided to steal a child and pretend that it was her own.
What these two women used were contraceptive coils (copper-based intrauterine devices and hormonal intrauterine devices) which are both essentially made of plastic then either coated with copper or hormones.
When inserted into the uterus they provide long-term and highly effective protection against pregnancy. The intra-uterine device releases copper ions which kill sperm.
What these two stories tell me is that many couples lack communication in their relationships. These unfortunate women should have simply told their husbands that they were going for a ten year contraceptive.
A couple of weeks ago I walked into a bar and in the midst of a heated debate. This man and his friend were saying a couple should have more than 10 children.
One man who was seemingly younger than the two was arguing that in this day and age, children must be planned for because it was expensive to raise even 3 children.
"Children are like wealth. If your father had 2 houses you must build 3 houses. It is the same with children. If your father had 8 children you must surpass that and have 10 children."
With the load shedding currently being experienced in this country, the electricity had gone and there was no music or television playing in the bar and that meant every patron in the bar was ' tuned in' to this discussion.
Almost all of us contributed to the debate and most of us were against the idea of having ten children save for one older man who said he kept six orphans in addition to five of his own children.
It was my turn to ask "Mr. Ten kids" a question.
"Do you think any woman would accepted having all those children?"
"Why wouldn't she? I married her and if she doesn't want to have those children she has to go back to her parents."
"What if she decides to take up preventive measures without your knowledge?"
He briefly kept quiet before saying "She better pray I don't find out cos if I did that would be her end."
I know you probably think this dude was drank because he was in a bar. No you are wrong. I know a drank man and this guy knew exactly what he was saying.
I felt pity for his wife because it is men like him that are causing women to find themselves in twisted situations like the two stories above.
Women should be bold enough and discuss family planning issues without feeling intimidated at all.
By the time the woman who stole the baby comes out of prison she will probably still have some years to wait before the IUD expires. Her husband may also still be looking for that fourth child.
