HOW NOT TO EMPLOY A NANNY FROM HELL

A young woman is sitting on a couch with a 2 year old toddler trying to feed her some porridge. The baby exhibits difficulty in coping with the rough and speedy rate at which she is being fed. The young woman then starts eating the porridge herself. 

Unable to contain the stuffed porridge down her throat, the baby throws up and this seems to infuriate the young woman who responds by slapping the child, throwing her off the couch onto the floor. The young lady then picks up a rechargeable torch and severely whacks the baby's bottom. She then kicks the baby's head like a football. For a while, the baby lies there unable to move. As if that was not enough, the young lady tramples on her limp body before hoisting her savagely by one hand, taking her into another room. 

This is not a scene from a Hollywood movie but a true life incident which happened in Uganda. Many people who watched this video of this woman beating the 2 year old baby were shocked and angry. When I first saw the video, I thought about how the parents of that little girl must have felt when they saw what the person they were paying to take care of their daughter was treating her.

Anyone can understand why that video went viral and caused a lot of outrage on the social networks all over the world. The video raised a lot of questions on how many children go under such treatment everyday without their parents knowing anything. According to some sources, the when the father saw that video, he pounced on the nanny and beat her up. Despite the nanny going to the police and having the father arrested, the police were forced to release him after viewing the video because not even them could comprehend such inhuman treatment. 

In my opinion, the person in the video does not even look like a nanny at all. I know you can not tell a person's qualifications just by looking at them but to me that woman looks like she is just a maid servant whose main chores are to clean the house and to wash clothes and dishes. Her demeanor also confirms that. Just the way she ate the baby's porridge shows that she a desperate person. 

Whenever I hear the word Nanny, the picture that comes to my mind is that of a middle aged woman wearing a long dress with an apron and a headscarf in some cases.  Of course nannies can be of any age as long as they are mature and capable of doing the job.

Many people who have employed a nanny to look after their child were scared when they saw that horrible treatment of an innocent 2 year old baby. I would not be surprised if many went home and started looking for signs of abuse on their children. Others may even have thought of investing in CCTV cameras. 

Nannies are some of the most lovable  people in the world and many of them are helping a lot of families to cope with the pressure of work and looking after their children. Many couples have entrusted nannies to care of their kids for more hours than they can spend with the kids themselves. A lot of kids around the world have grown up with nannies with some of them note even knowing that the person they spend a lot of time with was not a relative but an employee.

One thing that I have noticed with Zambian families is that they do not take proper caution when employing nannies. Most of the times people go for cheap labour or they would like to employ someone who is very desperate for a job because by doing so they think that they will pay that person less money. But what they do not realise is that cheap is expensive in some ways. When you hire cheap labour you must also expect cheap results. 

When hiring someone whom you want to be taking care of your little ones, you must make sure you employ the best person possible. This person must be qualified and have some experience in child care. Do not just take in anyone that comes knocking at your door looking for a job. If possible ask for references or do a background check of the person you are employing. It would even be prudent to meet that person's kids if she has any so that you can have an idea how she treats her own children.

Secondly, when you employ a nanny, do not overload her with unnecessary chores. Remember that one reason why you can not cope with taking care of your child is because you have another job yourself. Similarly, a nanny's job is primarily to take care of the child or children and not to plant flowers, water the garden and  even do your shopping. Child minding in itself is a tough job and this is one reason why you will find some families employ a house servant, a garden boy and a nanny. You cannot lump all these three jobs on one person because doing so may just overburden her and cause her not to perform accordingly. 

Another thing that you must not neglect is to pay your nanny the right salary and on time. Do not let your nanny work on slave wages because she will not put in as much as she is getting out. A disgruntled worker does not perform at 100% capacity and most of the time that worker may be frustrated or stressed. She may even take out her frustrations by abusing your child. In the Uganda video, the woman started slapping the child after she had vomited.  To me that was like punishing the child for giving her more work to clean up. 

Having respect for your nanny is also cardinal. If you yell at her most of the time, she will definitely not like your child at all. She will yell at her and even do worse things like what was in that video. Every employee can make a mistake but you are not suppose to yell at them or treat them like they are lesser beings. 

Most importantly, treat your nanny like she was a  member of the family. I have seen kids who have become so attached to their nanny that even when the nanny wants to leave they will start crying. If your children do this, then you have no doubt employed a perfect nanny. This person will always look after your kids and protect them at any time. I know some adults who still have not forgotten their nannies despite many years having past. The names of the nanny pops up in every childhood story they tell. This also shows that they were taken care by one of the best nannies in the world. 

Image by africa, freedigitalphotos.net

THE NEIGHBORHOOD DRUNKARDS

Some of my childhood memories from growing up in one of the townships on the Copperbelt Province are about how differently people behave when they are drank. I am sure most of the people who grew up in a township in the 80s and 90s will relate to some of the characters in this article. 

Almost every community had what I will call a "neighborhood drunkard". These persons were known for their bizarre or unique behavior when they were drank.  In most cases they were a friend's dad. In my street, we had almost all the types of neighborhood drunkards that you could think of.

The first character and probably the most common was nicknamed "Umu Wailer" (The Wailer) and was probably named after Bob Marley's singing group because he would sing in a very loud voice every time he was coming home from a drinking spree and he did not care what time it was. It could be at mid day, in the afternoon, evening or even after midnight. The only thing that was known to silence this character was the rain. Another amazing thing about him was that even the dogs stopped barking when he was approaching the hood. His choice of music was usually one of the latest hits on the market sang in his own version.  

Then there was this other character who would always get lost after drinking some beer. This was the mysterious one because he would come all the way from the bar or tavern on his own without asking for directions but as soon as he reached the street in which his house was situated, his mind just shut off.  He would bypass his house several times without identifying it. It was only after several minutes of searching for his house in vain that he would finally gather some courage and ask one of the kids playing in the streets "Pa Ng'anda pali ba Chisulo nipesa?' (Where is Mr. Chisulo's house?) as if no one knew that he was the Mr. Chisulo himself. 

The other neighborhood drunkard was called "Kadansa"or "The Dancer". This was every kids favorite neighborhood drunkard. He was a true entertainer. He rarely came home late. He timed his arrival just when all the kids had already eaten their supper and had gathered under the street lights to sing and dance. "The Dancer" always thought none of the kids could dance better than him. He would pick on one kid and scold him or her for being a bad dancer and then challenge them to a dance. The neighborhood drunkard always thought he had won the challenge because he always got the loudest cheering. That is what kept him coming back for more challenges every evening.

The fourth neighborhood drunkard was nicknamed"Ba Passenger" (The Passenger). This one was a little bit boring because he usually came home from a drinking spree in a wheelbarrow being pushed by some good Samaritans and was most  of the time fast asleep. The only entertainment we got from this character was when the wife gave him a slap in the face to awaken him from his slumber. Sometimes I thought he just pretended to be asleep and unable to walk on his own so that he could have a relaxed ride home. However, the wheelbarrow pusher always demanded to be paid for his kindness and it was the wife who paid the fee. 

Then there was "The Sprinkler". He was called "The Sprinkler" because he always came home with the front of his trousers wet or with the zipper wide open. The stories that went around were that each time the sprinkler went into the toilet to pee, he unzipped his pants and held the necktie in his fist, directed it in the urinal and started peeing. The Sprinkler had a very bad sense of feeling and was slow in reacting. By the time he realized that he was holding his tie instead of the you know what, his pants were already soaked. What amazed me most was why he did could not wait until it was dark before coming home to avoid embarrassment.

The last and most hated neighborhood drunkard was "The Broadcaster". The Broadcaster always had a bone to chew with one of the neighbors. This character lived alone, with no wife and no kids. He would wait for everyone to fall asleep and then he would crawl outside the house and start hurling insults to the witches who were disturbing his sleep at night. On some days he would hurl insults to the person who was stealing vegetables from his garden (even though he did not have a garden). The Broadcaster would even pick on insulting people who were "jealousy" because he ate chicken and meat almost everyday.

One day on Christmas Eve we decided we had enough of the Broadcaster and that it was time to teach him a lesson he shall never forget. As expected, he came out of the house around 21:00 hrs and started boasting about how his Christmas was going to be the best in the hood because he had just been given a hefty bonus at work. We had prepared for this moment earlier in the day by buying a lot of fireworks. We selected the biggest ones, the ones that go up in the sky when you light them. But instead of aiming them upward in the sky, we aimed them directly at the Broadcaster and lit them.

WHIIZZZZ! KABLOOM! KABLOOM! KABLOOM! The fireworks exploded right where he was. He fell down to the ground, tried to get up but slipped and fell down again. Then he quickly crawled to the door and entered the house. We thought we had finally taught the "Broadcaster" a lesson. We slapped each other on the back and went to sleep.

An hour later, I heard someone shouting at a very high voice. It was the Broadcaster. He had come out of the house and was broadcasting his insults again. This time his insults were directed at the gunmen who nearly assassinated him a while ago by firing their guns at him because they were jealousy of his good lifestyle. He also bragged about how the neighbors did not know that he was a former soldier trained to survive under gunfire. 

I just rolled over and went to sleep. 


Image by Naypong, freedigitalphotos.net 

TO SMOKE OR NOT TO SMOKE?

In Zambia we never run out of topics to discuss. At the moment there is a fresh debate (or not so fresh) which is going on. This debate is all about a plant which allegedly has more than 100 names worldwide.

Some of the listed names for this plant are so strange. Wacky Tabacky, Hooch, Peyote, Green Monster, Indian Boy, Art Supplies, Panama Red, Oscar the Grouch and even Green Pants.

In Zambia this plant is commonly called "Icamba". You may know it as Hemp, Cannabis, Marijuana or simply Weed. 

A political party named Green Party has insisted that it will legalise the cultivation of marijuana if they are elected to run this country. The President of the Party Mr Peter Sinkamba said if Marijuana was allowed to flourish it would bring $15 billion to the country's treasury.

"It will not only bring in money but we are going to employ about 300,00 youths which will benefit the country." 

On top of that, The Green Party has promised that it will abolish the Drug Enforcement Commission. I am not here to talk politics but I have noticed how this has excited certain quarters of our society.

The possession of Marijuana is prohibited in many countries with jail terms ranging from light sentence to severe. Countries like China, Indonesia, Japan, Sweden, Turkey, France, Singapore, Malaysia, South Korea, Philippines and the United Arab Emirates have the strictest cannabis laws.

It is said that the oldest known record of cannabis use came from the Chinese in 2727 B.C. The Greeks and Romans  were also familiar with cannabis. In 1545 it spread to the western hemisphere where Spaniards imported it to Chile where it was used as fibre. 

Marijuana was criminalised in many countries in the early 20th century. In the United States the first restrictions for sale of marijuana came in 1906. It was also outlawed in South Africa in 1911, in Jamaica in 1913 and in the United Kingdom in the 1920s. 

Marijuana has considerable medical benefits ranging from glaucoma to cancer. Despite this, possession of marijuana is prohibited in many countries because it is classified as a Schedule I drug on the basis that it has a high potential for abuse.

Advocates for the legalisation of marijuana say apart from its curing properties, it also promotes creativity, open-mindedness, moral progression and so on. 

One person even said that Marijuana triples your potential. If you are a song writer, you will be come more creative in song writing. If you are an author, your writing will be more creative. The later seemed like a joke because if that was the case, one would assume that if you are dumb, then you will become dumber.

Many people do not use marijuana as a medicine but they consume it for its psychoactive and physiological effects which includes heightened mood or euphoria, relaxation and even for an increase in appetite.  

On the other hand, despite its medicinal use, marijuana is also associated with impairment of cognitive function when it is used frequently. A cognitive function test indicated that chronic marijuana smokers did worse  than non-smokers. Those who started smoking marijuana before the age of 16 did worse than those whom started smoking it later in life. 

Chronic smokers repeated errors more often even after they were corrected. They also had more trouble maintaining a set of rules. It is also said that Marijuana use impairs short term memory, alters judgment and decision making. It affects mood, producing severe anxiety, paranoia and psychosis in extreme cases. 

For those who smoke it, marijuana smoke is an irritant to the lungs, similar to tobacco smoke. Marijuana smokers have the same respiratory problems as tobacco smokers although no increased risk of lung cancer has been described to date in medical research. 

That said, possession of cannabis is illegal in most countries as a result of the agreement about Indian Hemp, in the international Opium convention of 1925. That in itself makes it a challenge for the Green Party to export marijuana outside the country because their are currently about five countries where the possession of marijuana is legal or almost legal. 

SEX CAN MAKE YOU LOOSE YOUR GENITALIA

I am not a TV News addict but on this particular day, my attention was caught by one of the items on the headlines. 

“A lusty woman of Chongwe district who desires more substantial sex with her husband is allegedly on the run after partially cutting her husband’s penis with a knife for refusing sex with her.”

After watching the clip of the injured man, I started asking myself questions why anyone in their right frame of mind would go to such an extent for the love of sex. Usually, women who react angrily by attacking the penis do so when the husband has been sleeping around with other women. 

On 2 may 2014, a Malawian woman cut off her husband's private parts in similar circumstances. The husband is a fisherman and he had gone on a job errand on Lake Chirwa for some days, leaving her pregnant wife behind.

When the man came back, the wife welcomed him as usual. During bed time, the wife asked for sex, but the husband refused saying he was too tired to perform. The woman amputated her husband's sex organs while he was fast asleep.

If the two women above really did what they did because of not having sex from their husbands, then one would assume that they suspected that their husbands were having sex with other women and the last resort was to harvest the guilty tool by cutting it off.

In nearby Zimbabwe, a man's private parts were doused with petrol and burnt by the wife along with her sister. The man was on separation with his wife but on this unfortunate night, he went to her house and demanded for sex.

When the wife refused, he threatened to kill her. The wife's sister took a 5 litre container of petrol and doused the man before his wife set him on fire saying she wanted to burn the private parts causing them unrest.

A lot of married people have been injured or even killed because of sex. One would think that people who are married have a fantastic sex life and they can have it any time they want. But the above examples reveal that sex can cause a lot of harm even in marriages. 

One young lady was complaining. "My boyfriend has a problem. He gets extremely angry when I don't give him sex when he wants it. It is very rare that he pursues sex and I deny him so I don't understand what his problem is. Maybe once in every two or three months he will get denied." 

"Yesterday we had a huge fight about this. I was home from work and was working in the house all day. He came home and wanted it. I did not because I was so filthy. It escalated to him punching our closet door and putting a hole in it. Is this normal guy behaviour or am I living with a psycho?"

A lot of men and women get so angry when the partner denies them sex. The truth is everyone has days when they are just not into it and no matter how the partner tries to get them in the mood, nothing will change that. 

However, the way one refuses sex can also have a bearing on how the other person will react. Do not make it look like you do not like the person. What bothers most people is not actually being refused sex itself but the feeling of being rejected. 

This is the time when someone now starts asking questions as to why they are being rejected. For most people, the conclusion could be that their partner is having sex with someone else. This could even be the major reason why people who become violent after being refused sex would attack the sex organs.

There are so many wild stories all over the world of people doing all sorts of things to partners all for the sake of sex. Last week, a 27 years old woman of Chipata's Mkanda area told the Chipata Magistrates Court how her husband cut off part of her genitalia with a razor blade to make her unattractive to other men.

How were other men going to see her genitalia as if she always walked around without wearing any panties? That is the most cruel thing to do. It is natural for a person to be jealousy and and angry when a partner is involved in an extra marital affair but there must be a limit to how that punishment is meted out. 

I remember when I was young my mother would tell us of how people who stole things had their hands amputated. This practice is still done in some countries where they practice Sharia law. 

According to INSA news service, Iran has unveiled a finger amputating machine. A man who was convicted of theft and adultery by a court was used as a demonstration. 

I am sure we have not seen or heard the last about sexual organs being attacked by aggrieved partners. 

Image courtesy of Dundee Photographics freedigitalphotos.net

THE FIFA WORLD CUP, BITES AND PRESIDENTS

There is no doubt that the biggest talking point so far at this year’s FIFA World Cup is Uruguay’s Luis Suarez’s alleged biting of the Italian defender Giorgio Chiellin.

Suarez himself denied biting Chiellin on purpose but alleged that he fell and slammed his teeth on the defenders shoulder which left a bite mark. He also said that he hurt his teeth in the process.

The most unfortunate thing is that this is not the first biting incident in which Suarez has been involved. In November 2010, during a game between Ajax and PSV Eindhoven, Otman Bakkal confronted Luis Suarez in a melee, but the Uruguayan learnt over and bit him on the neck.

The second incident happened in April 2013 in the game between Liverpool and Chelsea. After jostling with Ivanovic in the penalty area, Suarez responded by biting the Serbian defender on the arm. Liverpool fined him for this incident and was banned for ten games by the Football Association.

The latest incident at the World Cup brought the wrath of FIFA.  Luis Suarez was slapped with a four month ban on all football activities, a nine match international suspension and a $112,000 fine.

However, this punishment did not seem to go so well with Uruguay’s President Jose Mujica.  When he was asked on a TV sports show about his opinion on the World Cup, the President said, “Those at FIFA are a gang of old sons of bitches.” He then gasped and put his hand on his mouth as if to say I can’t believe I said that. His wife who was standing near him also added her feelings. “I support the President’s remarks,” she said.

President Mujica does not seem to be the only head of state whose daily schedule includes the World Cup. Ghana’s President John Mahama has demanded that an investigation must be carried out to determine that country’s dismal performance in Brazil where the team only managed 1 point and ending their campaign at the bottom of their group.

Ghana has had trouble in their camp because of appearance allowances and the investigation may be centred on that. Two of their star players, midfielders Sulley Munthari and Kevin-Prince Boateng were expelled from the squad for indiscipline. It is also known that Ghana players threatened to boycott their game against Portugal if they did not receive their money. Some reports even indicated that they boycotted training.

The Ghanaian government had no option but to send cash money in excess of $3 million in a chartered plane to Brazil. Ironically, Ghana lost their last game to Portugal and ended up being ousted out of the World Cup. This must have incensed the government who are now looking for a payback after being held at ransom over allowances.

On the other hand, as if to make the Ghanaian players look desperate money lovers, the Greek national team players have turned down a bonus from their Prime Minister Antonis Samaras, which was given to them for reaching the knock-out phase for the first time.

“We do not want extra bonus, or money. We only play for Greece and its people. All we want is for you to support our efforts to find a land and create a sports centre that will house our national team.”

What a contrast to Cameroonian players who prior to the World Cup threatened not to show up in Brazil over bonus money. While some players value the thrill of playing at the World Cup and representing their countries, others see the World Cup as a money making opportunity. Of course a player must get paid because that is where his livelihood comes from but one cannot help but notice the desperation and greed exhibited by players, particularly from Africa.

Like his Ghanaian compatriot, the president of Cameroon Paul Biya has also requested for an inquiry to find out why the team failed to win a single game at the tournament.  As if this was not enough, Cameroon’s Football Federation is investigating allegations of match fixing by some of its players at the World Cup. This is after a convicted fraudster correctly predicted that they would lose 4-0 and have a man sent off against Croatia.

In case you are wondering, this FIFA World Cup is not the first one where State Presidents and governments have been infuriated by the dismal performances of their national teams. In 1974, Zaire (now known as the Democratic Republic of Congo) became the second African country to qualify to the World Cup.  They lost 2-0 to Scotland and were humiliated 9-0 by Yugoslavia before meeting Brazil in their third game.

During that match, the referee awarded Brazil a free-kick.  Zaire’s defender Mwepu Ilunga kicked the ball away when Brazil were preparing to take the free-kick, earning himself a yellow card. Brazil won this match by 3-0 and the Zairean team came back conceding 14 goals without scoring any.

Recently, Ilunga (who is now aged 64) revealed that Zaire’s dismal performance was influenced by a dispute over bonuses. He said that despite losing 2-0 to Scotland, the team was happy with its performance. The mood in the team changed when the players discovered that a bonus owed to them had been intercepted.

Two hours before kick-off, the team did not want to play until they were threatened that they will be sent to the dungeons. Ilunga said the reason they lost by such a big margin to Yugoslavia was because the players sabotaged the match. It is alleged that President Mobutu sent a message, telling the players that if they lost by more than five goals to Brazil, they will never be allowed to return to their homes.

“I said to myself: “I’m not playing anymore. Why would I stay on the field and take the risk of not returning home when the others – the people who took our money – are watching us peacefully from the stands?”

He said he seized the opportunity when Brazil were awarded the free-kick to provoke the referee so that he could be given a red card. Unfortunately for him, the referee produced a yellow card and his action only ended up in the records as one of the World Cups most bizarre incidents alongside Zidane’s head butt and most probably the Luis Suarez biting incident among others.

With the World Cup in Brazil still going on and getting even more heated, we may still see more Presidents getting involved in the drama.

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono freedigitalphotos.net